Tuesday, July 11, 2006

I Hate Spam

So I finally manage to escape the confines of my summer home and get online without any suspicious Great Oppressors taking note of my activities, only to find that the last "person" to leave a comment was actually a spammer pimping out his oppressed Alaskan Malamutes. So you don't have to scroll down and read said comment, it reads "Darksky Alaskan Malamutes said...
Yes that sure is true. BTW did you see my new pup from Darksky Alaskan Malamutes? He's a real spunk.
Have a great one
George"

Listen, George. This is NOT eHarmony! I don't need your help in getting a date. Besides, who raises purebred Alaskan Malamutes IN AUSTRALIA?Seriously. As a descendent of a noble line of working dogs who hails from Queensland, I seriously question the morality of raising dogs originally bred for Arctic conditions and forcing them to live in a country that is desert on the inside and all poisonous jellyfish and sharks on the outside. Don't get me wrong... I am proud of my native land but breeding Alaskan Malamutes in Queensland makes about as much sense as breeding snakes in Anchorage and training them to run the Ididarod. Just look at poor Arnoo, one of George's dogs.

Note the hand of the Great Oppressor in the act of oppression, holding poor Arnoo whilst this noble animal swelters in the heat and dreams of running across the frozen wastes of the American north. I cannot stand idly by! Today I am launching a new campaign. Send contributions to:
FREE ARNOO FOUNDATION
Attn: Sid the Dog
Oregon
Sorry I don't have any more specific address information for you, but the mailman knows who I am. Oh yes.