Wednesday, November 22, 2006

Thanks! Giving!

Apparently, I have been selected as Dogmark's Site of the Day. A great honor... I am humbled beyond measure. This also means that I am in the running for Cool Dog Site of the Month. If you would like to vote for me (the polls for the November site open in December), head to Dogmark and cast that vote.

Since today is the cruelest holiday of the year, Thanksgiving, I thought I would celebrate with some poetry to showcase my way with words. Thanksgiving is the cruelest holiday because of the copious amounts of glorious foodstuffs that should trickle down to me yet never seem to materialize in the house of these Great Oppressors. I bet Cathy, my granddogma, would give me some food if she were here. The above picture is from a recent October snowstorm. J took me to the park. I thought it looked poetic enough to accompany my meditation on Thanksgiving.

Thanks! Giving!
by Sid the Dog

My kibble gives me life,
but the Oppressors know it's dry,
and for their need to feed me it
I trust they all will fry.

Thanksgiving time is here,
and with it lots of food,
and if the humans eat it all
I will just have to brood.

It's patently unfair, you know,
to keep me from the bird.
They bag MY poop and scratch MY head
yet have the final word.

They'd best give thanks for what I do
and send some scraps my way,
or I swear that I will hatch a plot
to have them sent away.

Happy Thanksgiving to all you dogs!

Tuesday, November 21, 2006


At certain times, we must look for miracles. We may see a miracle in the everyday things, like a liver treat handed to us by the hands of the Great Oppressors who have access to such things while we dogs are powerless. We may see a miracle in the eyes of a child. Or we may see miracles in our own kind. We may see a miracle written on the backsides of the unwilling instruments of God. This is such a miracle. Go to Angus if ye must be saved.

Friday, November 17, 2006

Enjoy Every Sandwich

So, Great Oppressor B's younger brother T, pictured here (a shiny penny to the astute reader who can name the celebrity whose head has been grafted onto T's), is visiting our fair city of Denver for a conference and I am so happy with the situation right now. I mean, J and B have both sucked so badly lately and my life has been so boring. T and I go way back, almost 10 years and here he is appearing just in time to save me from this ennui. I haven't seen him in almost two years and here he is with a wonderful, warm lap. T is the one who taught me to heel and that the words "get busy" mean that I should relieve myself. It is so nice to have him here, anything to distract me from J's grad school stress and B's job stress keeping them from paying attention to the most important thing out there, ME!!!

So for a moment all is well in my world...

Sunday, November 12, 2006

Landscaping with Glaciers and Rain

One of my favorite places to go hiking in Oregon is by the White River in Oregon. It is a short drive from Government Camp where I sometimes live in the summer and has beautiful scenery, lots of chipmunks, and early in the summer there is lots of snow for me to roll in. Apparently things have changed at the White River lately...

...You see the White River starts as a glacier high on Mt Hood and apparently during the massive rainstorms that swept the great Northwest something gave way up there. The first picture is of the parking lot where B would park and take me on hikes, the second is of the bridge on Highway 35 that is right next to the turnout for the parking lot. I'm pretty stunned looking at the changes. Hopefully the chipmunks survived so I can chase them next summer... ...I think that now would be a good time for the USA to sign the Kyoto Protocols.

Thursday, November 09, 2006


This post is about the three words I hate the most. NOT FOR DOGS. This is a phrase B and J use when I want something that they don't want to give to me. They learned it years ago from the Oppressor of a Corgie-Dachshund mix named Mister Turtle who was pretty much the coolest dog ever (I wish you could have met him Wally).

Anyhow, the idea is that the phrase denies me from the tasty morsel without me feeling like I'm being punished. What a crock. B and J ordered a pizza for dinner which smelled really good. The last time I was around pizza was with a friend of J's who gave me A LOT of it. So naturally I assumed that tonight's dinner would be a repeat. No such luck. I was greeted with "NOT FOR DOGS SIDNEY." Those jerks.

I put the picture of Wiener Schnitzel up because I have no doubt that if the prince of foods ever graces B and J's table I'll hear those three terrible words.

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

Blue State Heeler

It's late... Two-thirty Denver time. J has just slunk off to bed at last. The computer is mine. And even though I am exhausted myself, I just had to post this.

Sanctimonious slimeball Rick Santorum is..... Well... How do I put this? GONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
GONE AT LAST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Phew. That felt good. I usually hate exclamation points, but for once that little period capped with the straight line just seems to do my mood justice. Now, like a bad penny, the cat from Pet Sematary, or ( ahem, for you Dan Savage fans out there) a piece o' santorum, I'm sure Rick Santorum will turn up again. But let's enjoy it for now, shall we?

Sunday, November 05, 2006

I've Got It Good

Hey all,
Sorry it's been so long since I rapped at you guys, but the Grad School Miasma of Suckitude continues to hang over our house like a cloud of Bush-era coal plant emissions (invisible, yet deadly like a greenhouse gas) and J continues to hog the computer. Ugh. It's not like she's writing a screenplay or something. At least that would pay off in some serious cha-ching instead of languishing in some academic journal. I'm seriously thinking about buying my own crappy Dell or something. It probably wouldn't last more than a month but at least I would get to express myself again. Then maybe I'll write a Hollywood screenplay and get myself out of here. After all, my life is definitely filled with film-worthy moments. Observe...

I think I will entitle my film "Why? Because I Can!"