Sunday, March 11, 2007

Conspiracy Nuts

There is a disturbance in the Force. Meet "Twiggy," the famous Water Skiing Squirrel.

Twiggy never goes in the water without her little squirrel-sized lifejacket and is an advocate for water safety, traveling to boat shows around the country in her custom RV and spreading the good word about tips like entering the water feet first while jumping in. This is either another example of exploitation on the part of the Great Oppressors or the squirrel is planning something. I just don't trust her. Look at the beady little eyes. According to the site, Twiggy's "parents" have also trained two miniature horses, two French poodles, a black cat, an armadillo and a toad frog to water ski. I'm willing to guess the animals haven't been allowed to form any sort of worker's union.

Water safety is very important, don't get me wrong. J had some acquaintances who went to Lake Havasu every year in college who brought back tales of near-drownings coupled with fraternity/sororiety debauchery. It sounded awful, an entire reservoir filled with watercraft containing college students making bad decisions. When I saw Twiggy's website, I had visions of "Twiggy Goes to Lake Havasu." She'd spend the entire spring break riding behind her little motorized speedboat, making laps around rented watercraft filled with drunken frat boys playing quarters and beer pong in the hot sun, all the while Twiggy's "mom" Lou Ann shouting at the college kids through a megaphone trying to get them to wear PFDs and wait at least an hour after taking another Jaeger shot to get back in the water.

The streaming video available at Twiggy's official site is really the best way of getting a full sense of Twiggy's glory, but here is a small taste of Twiggy on YouTube. Enjoy!

Sunday, March 04, 2007

ASSpen and Flail

Well my body's immune system finally woke from its slumber and slayed the beast that was making me ill. In celebration I went on a mini road trip with B and J to the mountains of Colorado. We visited some friends and B and J went skiing at Aspen and Vail. That's right "I'm talking about Aspen, where the water flows like wine." I spent some time in the car parked in downtown Aspen while B and J met up with some friends after skiing. I'm a natural people watcher and there were definitely some interesting people to watch walking past the car early on Friday night. My favorite was the chubby guy who is obviously some corporate lawyer type from NY dressed like a cowboy. Didn't he see Dumb and Dumber??? I mean really.

I also had an idea for a t-shirt that hopefully will be arriving at J's Cafe Press site soon. It will read something like the following "How many animals had to die just so you could look stupid???" I felt like I was at some nightmare version of the dogpark with all the fur that was walking past the car.

I had a good trip though. It was nice to get out of the house for a few days.