Tuesday, October 03, 2006

Song of Simon

So, my friend Simonhas submitted his draft of the very first dog-authored Gospel of the Bacon Bridge. For those who didn't catch it in the comments section of a prevous post, I reproduce it here in its entirety, although Simon mentioned this was a first draft so I don't know if he meant to add on later...

The Gospel of Simon
by Simon, the Deaf, Half-Blind Beagle with Acid Reflux

"If you shall smell a butt, so let your butt be smelled.
Hound, heeler, lab or mutt, we are all but one; Dog.
Bark, if thy bark, but bark bark only through bark's bark.
In dog's name we bark. Word be to bark."

Sheer poetry! The Gospel of Simon speaks the truth. I have some gospel verse of my own, and I fully encourage any dog out there to contribute their own gospel. I think Simon is on to something here.

Gospel of Sid
by Sid the Dog

"Whosoever passes into the Land of Bacon will smell the glory.
The righteous dog, and we are all righteous by virtue of our kind,
Shall be rewarded with a multitude of bacon strips, fish heads, and soft serve.
Ask not what the Bacon Bridge can do for you, for it does everything.
Buttdraggin, biscuits, bones, ceaseless balls thrown strictly for our pleasure.
I heart the Bacon Bridge."

Oh, I was also thinking that we need a human to sort of explain things to the humans when they arrive at the Bacon Bridge, since this probably won't be what they're expecting. I nominate Sir Francis Bacon, philosopher and popularizer of inductive reasoning.

Sir Francis Bacon


Anonymous said...

I think I'd go with Kevain Bacon - he knows every single human, or someone they know, or someone someone they know knows so he would be familiar to all.

Bussie Kissies

Simon said...

Thanks for the props, Sid. All you other founders of the bacon bridge, lets hear from you.
Buster, nice work with the Kevin Bacon. Well played.

Sid the Dog said...

Touche, my good man! I guess I was stuck on humans who are already dead, so it didn't even occur to me... Although I think we will need more than one human, so perhaps we can have both Kevin Bacon and Sir Francis Bacon? In fact, if anyone can think of other world-famous Bacons, feel free to suggest them. You know, Kevin is in a band with his brother... I'm not suggesting we should let them play simply because I'm not a big fan of their unique brand of FoRoSoCo (folk, rock, soul, and country, I'm not making this up), but I'm sure they could show folks around and maybe throw some sticks and balls.

ThursdayNext said...

I think we need to keep in mind the health of our pooches and also include turkey bacon in this. ;)

Simon said...

Dog bless you Thursdaynext, your concern is well received. However, I will protest the suggestion. Will I eat turkey bacon? Yes. Will I demand the real thing when the bacon bridge calls? Count on it. Will I accept anything less. Well, you know....
Viva la bacon!

Charlie The Big Dog said...

Hallelujah - Praise The Dawg!

Thats a pretty cool gospek:-)

And in reply to Bussie's comments,
I dont know Kevin Bacon, But I know a dog who was in a movie with Tom Cruise, who was in A Few Good Men with Kevin Bacon:-)