Back Off Man, I'm a Scientist

The esteemed winners of last year's Ig Nobel prize...

I like to think of myself as a scientist. Sure, my research budget may be limited, but my experiments in how old a particular item in the trash needs to be before it is no longer fit for consumption have resulted in some valuable data. Three-day old chicken carcass? Edible without reprecussions such as gastrointestinal distress. Five-day old rice and beans? Not so much.

Sadly, my own experiments have come to an end since B and J have made efforts to seal up the trash once they realized that my scientific nature and passion for intellectual, yet tasty discovery made it impossible for me to resist. However, the Great Oppressors of the world sometimes come up with some fascinating scientific discoveries and I have found some comfort in this year's Ig Nobel Prize award winners.The Ig Nobels are awarded each year for scientific discoveries that "first make people laugh, then make people think." According to the official Ig Nobel site, the winner of the 2006 Ig Nobel Peace Prize is "Howard Stapleton of Merthyr Tydfil, Wales, for inventing an electromechanical teenager repellant -- a device that makes annoying noise designed to be audible to teenagers but not to adults; and for later using that same technology to make telephone ringtones that are audible to teenagers but not to their teachers." This product is known as "the Mosquito," and according to the official website, is beloved by policemen in the U.K who are stumped by the hordes of antisocial youth who are ripping at the delicate social fabric by loitering. Huzzah for the Brits!