Wednesday, September 20, 2006

Faith Heeler


Right on, my canine brothers and sisters! There have been some great comments re: our proposed dogeology, which will hopefully result in an alternative cosmology to the picture I've included in this post. I found this print advertised on a ferret rescue site. Note the preponderance of ferrets in this rendering. I don't know if that's tied to the fact that the authors chose to translate the ethnocentric Rainbow Bridge myth into verse, but I'm guessing it is. J dated a ferret owner once, and given her views on the subject of ferret owners I want to ask where the unkempt fellow wearing Birkenstocks and playing with rhythm sticks in the park is located. But I know that not all ferret owners fit this category so I will refrain. Anyway, are ferrets allowed? Personally, I'm a bit anti-ferret. Thoughts on ferrets, anyone?

Anyway, let's focus on the good things that have been suggested for our alternative to a heaven overrun with ferrets. Dare we dream of an afterlife designed exclusively for dogs? Swimming pools, white sandy beaches, bacon, soft serve, chewies, and the list goes on and on... Thanks for those suggestions and let's keep this ball rolling, I say! Now, we must not forget to ask the larger questions as we construct our faith. For instance, what is the nature of sin? Does it originate with the dog, or is sin the fault of the humans? Is there such a thing as a bad dog? Should transgressions against our own kind weigh larger than the ones committed upon goddam cats, hamsters, exotic reptiles, etc.? And again, is this exclusively a dog heaven or are other species included? Personally, I'm not so sure. As this Flash animation created by a human suggests, the Rainbow Bridge is also populated by cats, snuggly bunnies, and other cute animals. I notice that few humans seem to be suggesting that pet snakes will be found across the Rainbow Bridge. Thoughts on snakes?

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Selma and Miles = ANTI FERRETS. Unless we can chase them and catch them and KILL them. They are too damn close to squirrels for our liking.

GOD DAMNED SQUIRRELS - always JUST out of reach!

Simon said...

Once again my bretheren, I am pleased, pleased in deed with the suggestions for the above and beyond.
It is quite obvious that we have reached a level of higher living by acknowledging that all are welcome. The BS that one must be "born again" or male or other such nonsense is for the humans to drivel in. But I must suggest that Ferrets, while loved by many, will not, I repeat will not be anywhere near me in the land to come. Their wee beady eyes scare the poo out of me. Everything else, WELCOME. Oh wait, any kind of insect parading around as a pet can go to hell.

Sid the Dog said...

Yeah, the eyes... Supercreepy. Having never observed a ferret who actually seemed to enjoy captivity - I mean, have you ever seen a ferret ask to be picked up, snuggle with its owner, or do anything that didn't seem to indicate that it wanted nothing except bite the hand of the humans and be free- I say we give the ferrets what they want. I propose ferret heaven and dog heaven be separate. I'm sure they'd want the same thing, and I sure as hell don't see why they are necessary in our dogeology. Same goes for insects, unless we get to eat them.
All of the squirrels in our heaven will be within reach and will taste, well, heavenly. All the ones I've sampled down here have been.