Let Me Stand Next to Your Fire

A large amount of press is being dedicated to the Derby Fire in Montana, a blaze which just happened to flare up in Great Oppressor J's part of the forest. What hasn't made the papers is how I helped extinguish a different backcountry blaze that could have easily flared up into something much larger. Here is the fire when we found it... The best part is that somebody started this 5' by 4' by 2' smoker by lighting their toilet paper on fire instead of packing it out. People are animals.



Here is the fire after George Clooney and I put it out.

Well, really, I guess that B technically put it out. But I like to imagine George Clooney and myself running back and forth from the stream, desperately throwing water on the smoking earth before tragedy strikes and the fire flares up, giving the evil minions in the current political administration a reason to allow Haliburton to come in and perform salvage logging operations in the wilderness. And then George would mop the sweat from his brow, take off his t-shirt, rub his two-day old stubble thoughtfully, and look into the distance as the James Horner soundtrack swells and the camera cuts to a closeup of me looking pensive. And then there will be a shot of an Indian with tears in his eyes. What an exciting backpacking trip!!!